he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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