So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
