Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
