Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
