Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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