i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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