Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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