if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
