so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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