I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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