dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
