Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
