clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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