Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
