I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
