a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
