Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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