Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
