UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
do nipples grow back?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
