One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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