How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
