You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
