he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
