I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes