Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize