i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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