I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Enjoy the penises
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
