I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
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"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
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