they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
