bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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