adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
