one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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