The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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