I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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