I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize