watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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