I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
