with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
