butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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