i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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