a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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