perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it glows. i had to have it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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