Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
