Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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