I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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