You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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