I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
youre lurking in front of me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
