I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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