After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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