Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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