absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He felt like a one man threesome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
