If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
