At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
whose parrot is this?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
