Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
