It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
