He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
