i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize
