I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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