i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
