I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
