What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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