I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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