If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
