It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
