Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
