first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize