Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
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Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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