After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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