if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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