He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Couch. On fire.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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