Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
