she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wanna passion pit in your ass
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
