Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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