Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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