Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
