I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
